In recent days I talked with an acquaintance that had lost her mother to Cancer and Alzheimer Disease at the age of 85. We were talking about the horrific challenges in the healthcare system and also the many misperceptions out there surrounding loss and grief. It led me to think about how society views this topic and how often people can be almost cold with unrealistic expectations when it comes to understanding and supporting someone in the grief process.

My friend told me how people felt that it should not be as tough of a loss due to the fact her mother was “old” and had Alzheimer disease. It was almost as if these two facts were to lessen the pain and make it easier to get through and over. I too felt this in recent weeks with the loss of my grandmother. Yes, she was 88 years old at the time of her death but I can tell you that regardless of her age it did not make the loss easier or the pain I felt any less. For me, my grandmother played a huge role in my life and was a part of my life on a regular basis from day one. It was a huge and significant loss in my life and the fact that she was 88 did not matter.

My point in writing this is to try to remind people that the loss of anyone in our life has great impact and that there will be a process of grieving to go through. Granted, there are different types of loss and grief can come in many forms and at many levels but losing someone will still bring about many feelings and emotions. Grief is not prejudice to anyone or anything. In the end, loss can be difficult and can truly impact the people left behind for a long time regardless of age, relation or cause of death.

In any loss it is important to remember that people are hurting and while life does not stop for a loss, those left behind do need time, understanding and support while they process through grief and all that comes with it.

It has only been a couple of weeks since my grandmother passed away and while I had to get back to “life” quickly I am still struggling with this huge loss daily. If we can all remember that grief is something that we all share as a common bond at some point in life and that people grieve in different ways, we can be more sensitive to what each other might be going through. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and just because someone is “old” does not necessarily make the loss any easier.

For all those out there that have lost someone and are struggling through grief; my heart goes out to you and my prayer is that you will find peace and comfort with the gift of time.

In Peace-

Michele