I just returned from a week in Hawaii and as always it was magical. Hawaii is truly a special place and regardless of what island I am on, it is beautiful.

The week was peaceful and brought the relaxation and rest I so badly needed but I also found myself thinking about the past couple of years, loss and grief.

One might think that is strange. Why would I think about grief when I’m on vacation in such a wonderful place?

The answer is complicated yet simple. When human beings lose something or someone that is valuable or loved, grief becomes a part of who we are. It is not something that is easily packed away or hidden on a back shelf.

Grief accompanies people everywhere. It travels with us from one destination to the next and even when it is a beautiful vacation spot, grief has a way of showing up whether invited or not.

I certainly didn’t plan to bring grief with on this trip but then again, I wouldn’t necessarily choose to bring grief with me anywhere. Isn’t that the point?

I don’t believe anyone chooses to become a part of the grief club nor would most people choose to bring grief along to work, school, parties or on a much needed vacation. Yet - grief becomes a constant companion that tends to show up everywhere whether we want it to or not.

The brutal truth about grief following a significant loss is that there will always be triggers that can appear at any moment regardless of how long it’s been or where you are.

It’s important to recognize grief triggers and in those unexpected moments of grief, allow yourself to feel all that you need to feel. Grief has a way of demanding to be heard and unfortunately, it is not always at the most convenient times.

That’s okay.

Whether you choose to grieve privately or publicly, grief is meant to be experienced and felt. It is not meant to be hidden away or ignored.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are no timelines or expiration dates. And - there are no limitations or restrictions in and around where grief is allowed to go. Including a magical vacation spot.

Did grief ruin my vacation? No. Was I able to manage all that I was feeling and find ways to relax and enjoy my week-long getaway? Yes.

And so can you. It is important to remember that pain and joy can exist in the same space. Grief and happiness can walk alongside one another and it is absolutely OKAY to enjoy things in life again despite the grief and pain you are holding in your heart.

Be gentle with your heart and give yourself grace when grief shows up. Grief doesn’t necessarily go away but you can learn to grow around your grief and carry it forward wherever it is you choose to go.

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Sending love in your journey.

Michele