I grabbed the mail out of our mailbox yesterday and as usual, there was some mail for my mom. And one piece broke my heart a little bit more - an offer for life insurance. But my mom doesn’t need life insurance. She died last October.

It’s amazing how one small thing can deliver a punch to the gut and knock the air right out of you.

And that’s exactly what a piece of mail did to me yesterday.

I felt like shouting to the world - my mom doesn’t need life insurance, or her Roman clothing catalogues, or to renew her AARP membership. She died and she’s not coming back. And man does the reality of that hurt.

Yet there are days when I find comfort in getting her mail even though it’s been a year. There are days I don’t want her mail to stop.

That’s the complexity of grief. Emotions will run low and high. They will collide with one another and sometimes the emotions won’t make sense.

You can carry both positive and negative emotions at the same time. And that’s perfectly normal and okay.

Grief is unpredictable, complicated, and messy. There’s no right or wrong way to feel or to grieve and it’s important to open the gates of your broken heart and let all of the feelings in.

Yesterday reminded me that my heart is still raw and broken. It reminded me that the smallest of things can rip open the wounds of loss without warning and it will hurt.

There are no time limits to grieving. Grief doesn’t come with an expiration date and for most, grieving the loss of someone you love will last for the rest of your life. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Grief is a beautiful testament to the people who matter in our lives. Grief is a reminder that someone lived and was here. It’s a reminder that human beings need to love and be loved, and when someone we love is gone, life will never be quite the same.

And it’s not supposed to be.

If you’re grieving the loss of someone you love, my heart stands in solidarity with yours. I know the deep pain and the yearning for something or someone you can no longer have.

Hang on tight to the love and don’t ever feel pressured to move on or get over it. That’s not possible and your grief matters and is valid. Forever.

My mom doesn’t need life insurance anymore and honestly, I wish she did. I would give anything to have her back and getting her own mail instead of having the painful task of looking through each piece and throwing most of it away in the trash. Even writing these words, brings on the tears.

But the love and grief I carry in my heart will never be discarded or thrown away. I will hold on tight to both and honor that the grief and the love are important parts of who I am. Today, tomorrow, and always.

Sending you love and I’m here for you.

michele