Losing a loved one sucks. There isn’t a silver lining or pot of gold at the end of a rainbow to take home and set on a shelf. The truth is, I will always grieve and I’m going to always be a bit sad. Because my mom died.

And I’m okay with that.

Feeling sad and carrying grief in my heart for the rest of my life stands for something. It means my mom mattered. It means she was here and lived.

The ache of sadness and grief is a small price to pay when I think about her and all of the love we shared over the years.

And I have felt this way every time I have had to say goodbye to someone I love. A goodbye I was forced to say because someone special died.

My mom was special. She IS special and she will always hold a special and sacred place in my heart. No amount of time can erase the memories or dim the light she brought to my life.

Of course I’m always going to be sad.

Of course I’m always going to grieve.

Society will try to tell me to wipe away the tears. To get over it and move on.

Society will remind me that it’s been long enough. And I will be asked why I’m still grieving even though it’s only been eight months.

My mom was part of my life for 59 years. Why would the sadness and grief fade in less than a year?

It can’t and it won’t. I will grieve for my mom for the rest of my life and there will always be sadness when I think about her.

But there will be joy and happiness too. I will smile when I think about her and all of the amazing memories shared.

I will feel gratitude when I think about her undeniable love for me and how she supported me at both my best and my worst.

I will find peace when I feel her presence in everything I do and I will feel a calm surrender when I see her beauty painted across sunsets everywhere I go.

I don’t want to let go of my sadness and grief. In some ways, it’s because of sadness and grief that I continue to feel connected to her. I don’t want to forget and I will continue to live my best life in honor of her amazing legacy.

Society doesn’t get to dictate how you or I grieve.

Honestly, it doesn’t matter how long someone has been part of your life. If you shared love and they mattered to you, you will grieve for them and carry sadness with you too. And I’m sorry you have come to know the pain of loss.

It’s part of the human experience and if you feel sad because someone you love died, my heart stands with you.

I wish we didn’t have to know this sadness or the pain of loss but I would rather know the gift of deep love than not know it all.

I’m going to always be a bit sad. My mom died.

And I’m okay with that.

Sending love to you. Always.

Michele