Michele DeVille

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A Letter to My Younger Grieving Heart

Dear Heart-

I know you have been through a lot and I know you have been broken into a million little pieces time and time again. It hasn’t been easy and I’m so sorry for everything that has happened over the years.

You have survived so much in life and I know that even now, you still carry sadness and grief. I know you still carry an ache that doesn’t completely go away regardless of how much time goes by.

I would have protected you from the pain of loss and grief if I could. I would have sheltered you from the storms. But I have learned that it’s impossible to completely avoid loss and pain in this one life we have been given - a life that is a gift and meant to be lived and experienced, even when it hurts.

There was really no way to completely prepare for or warn you before loss slammed into our lives and shattered you into the many pieces I’m still searching for and collecting to this day. And even if I knew it was coming, every loss has been different and the journey through grief never looks exactly the same.

I know it’s lonely and I know you continue to miss so many things and beautiful people that left deep and unforgettable footprints. Footprints that even the biggest of tears can never completely wash away.

You carry so many wounds of loss with eloquence and grace. And some of those wounds have never completely healed yet you continue to carry on with courage refusing to give up and quit.

I’m proud of you for so many things but I’m most proud of your will to survive and for your determination to keep moving forward in life while carrying the weight of grief. I’m proud of you for the endless kindness, compassion, and love you have refused to leave behind regardless of how much you hurt deep inside or how hard life is.

Even when exhausted and when you have felt defeated, unsupported, and lost, you have continued to journey through what can be unfamiliar and rocky territory - one day at a time. I know it’s been difficult and I know you’re not the same as you were “before”… I know that every loss has changed you just a little bit more.

But I also know you are determined to rise above the ruins. To carry on and find ways to fill up when loss has left you feeling empty and overwhelmed..

Loss is never easy and every loss will hurt. But I hope you know that even if the holes remain, they won’t always consume you or swallow you up. I hope you know the pain will fade and that love will always be stronger than loss. Love and grief can live side by side and light will always find its way back to you and shine through your cracks.

I know it’s hard work and that so much of the work you continue to do must be done alone. But I hope you know that there will always be other grieving hearts that care deeply and will show up to love and comfort you.

You continue to amaze me from one day to the next and I’m so happy that you push on and somehow manage to create space for peace and joy even when you feel crowded by the constant ache of missing and the grief that remains.

So when you find yourself untethered and lost in a sea of grief, don’t give up dear heart. Look for the love and let it be the lifeline that guides you back to a safe place.

I’m proud of you. I love you. And we are in this together - one loss at a time.

Love your biggest fan -

Me