Grief Has a Hook in Me

Last week was quite the week for me. Hesitantly, I went on a one day fishing trip to Canada with my husband and a few other friends. Honestly, I don’t love small planes, or boats, and I have not been fishing in many years. But the day took a turn I wasn’t expecting at all.

I ended up catching 21 fish and at the end of the day I caught a trophy fish. A 29 inch Walleye - and it was the talk of the day. It was exciting and an experience I will never forget.

So what does this have to do with grief?

I love metaphors and when I got back, I started thinking about hooking a fish and if the hook is in deep enough, it won’t let the fish go.

Grief is kind of like that.

After a devastating loss, grief hooks your heart and it doesn’t let go. It’s a hook that the outside world can’t see and it’s invisible to the naked eye. Yet the hook of grief runs so deep it will forever reel you in and become part of who you are.

Unlike a fish that’s too big or too small and gets thrown back, grief won’t throw you back. Because it can’t. If the loss is big enough, grief will hook you for the rest of your life. And it’s meant to stay with you.

Grief is a testament to how much you love and miss someone. Your grief means something and the hook will always be an important part of you. But the hook will also be hard to carry and it will bring you pain. Especially when the rest of the world doesn’t know it’s there and doesn’t know how to show up for you.

There will be days when you barely know the hook is there and there will be days when it’s impossible to ignore. Days when you wish the hook had never found it’s way into your heart but there’s nothing you can do but learn to carry it forward and remember why it’s there.

And it’s there for a reason. An important one. It’s there because you were vulnerable enough to love.

I know it may not feel like it right now, but with time, the hook will dull and the noise of your grief will soften. The pain won’t always hurt as much as it does today, and it’s possible to find joy again.

Eventually, grief will grab onto everyone’s heart and we all need each other when it does. We need community and connection to survive the tough times in life. We all need to provide an emotional lifeline to others when loss turns everything upside down.

I can’t fix your grief and I can’t remove the hook in your heart. But it’s my hope you will find love, support, and comfort here. To know your grief matters hook and all, and it always will.

With love -

michele