I Didn’t Know Matthew Perry Yet I’m Grieving

Like so many others, I woke up yesterday to the shocking news that Matthew Perry had died. It punched me in the gut and I immediately felt a wave of overwhelming sadness as I struggled to process his death. I didn’t know Matthew Perry - yet I’m grieving.

And I know that so many people are feeling the same way.

I remember grieving for Princess Diana all those years ago and people are often confused when grief shows up for someone they’ve never met or don’t personally know.

Actually, it’s common to grieve for people you don’t know. And the world often grieves collectively when someone famous dies or something big happens in the world.

It’s human to grieve and yes, it’s human to grieve whether you are personally impacted or not.

I don’t think of grief as the enemy. I think of grief as the companion that shows up when we lose someone or something that mattered. And it’s human nature to feel compassion and to grieve even when there’s no personal connection to what’s happening outside of our own bubble.

And if you really think about it, we grieve for people we don’t know because we can imagine the pain and struggles others are going through. We can sometimes relate when we take our rose colored glasses off and look deep within.

I’m grieving for Matthew Perry because I did know him in some ways. I didn’t have to meet him to know that he was a human being who struggled and battled demons like so many of us do.

It doesn’t matter that he was bigger than life through the tabloids, newspapers, and television screen. First and most importantly, he was a human being that was relatable in the most human of ways. He was a compassionate person who vowed to make a difference in the world and wanted to help others battle their demons too.

I’ve often said that some of the most compassionate and kind people in the world are those who personally know the pain of loss and grief. And Matthew Perry knew the grief that can come with addiction in so many different ways.

Yes he was an amazing and talented star who brought magic and laughter into our homes and our lives. But as I grieve for him today, I’m grieving for the man who fought hard to overcome the struggles he faced and the demons he battled every day.

Matthew, I salute you today and thank you for being so honest and real. Thank you for your vulnerability and for working hard to help others who battle demons too.

And of course, thank you for bringing so much joy and laughter to so many of us over the years and when we needed it the most.

Your legacy matters and not just because you were a star. Your legacy matters because you led with compassion and showed up when others were in pain.

I have no doubt Matthew will continue to shine and make a difference in the lives of others for years to come. And whenever I’m feeling extra sad, I will watch an episode of Friends and laugh until I can’t laugh anymore.

However, when I think of him, I will mostly think of how human he was and I will never forget that he stood up for others when no one else would.

If you’re grieving for someone you didn’t personally know, be gentle with your heart and remember, we grieve because we are human.

Rest easy and with peace in your heart Matthew Perry. You will be missed and I hope you’re smiling knowing that you made a difference in this world.

Sending love to all of you-

michele