Losing An Emotional Lifeline
The last two weeks were a whirlwind. My husband took a group to Spain and I tagged along. It was an amazing trip but grief traveled by my side and more than once, I was reminded how painful it is to lose an emotional lifeline.
Losing an emotional lifeline adds another layer of grief to an already painful and heartbreaking loss. My mom was my emotional lifeline.
She was my person. The one I went to for everything. I could tell her anything and I knew she would never judge me and would love me unconditionally.
I felt safe with her and whenever something happened, she was the first person I called. She listened, supported, and always provided a soft shoulder to lean on.
And I miss having that lifeline more than words can describe. My husband and I went out to dinner in Spain with friends and it was a wonderful night. Until I got sick from something I ate. I was up most of the night and I wanted my mom. It didn’t matter how old I was, I always wanted my mom whenever I was in pain or sick.
She comforted me in ways that no one else could and somehow made everything better in the moment. The only person I wanted to talk to that night, was my mom. But I couldn’t and in that moment, I felt so empty and I was reminded my emotional lifeline was gone.
It’s not that I don’t have many wonderful friends and family in my life. I do and I treasure each and every one of them. And I know I could call any one of them and they would love and support me through any difficult time.
Nonetheless, it’s not my mom. It’s not the same and I will forever miss being able to pick up the phone and call her to share both the good and bad in my life.
Most people have at least one person that is, in part, an emotional lifeline for them. Human beings thrive on connection and community. We all need those we can trust and lean on. Everyone needs someone to talk to. Someone who will love, comfort and listen regardless of what’s going on.
Life is hard and while there are so many beautiful things to embrace along the way, there are painful things that can rip hearts apart and turn life inside out.
When you lose someone who has always been there for you and loved you without condition, it leaves a hole so deep and wide it’s impossible to completely fill it again. Ever.
There’s an emptiness that’s hard to explain and oh the yearning. The yearning to see them, talk to them, hear their voice and feel their warmth one more time. It never completely goes away.
You will miss your person every single day. And you will miss all of the things they brought to you and your life. Things you shared. Things you came to love, need and depend on.
The pain of losing someone that has left such a big footprint on your heart is undeniable and even years later, the sting of loss will burn. It will soften and it won’t always be as intense, but it will make its presence known when you’re missing them the most.
I’m sorry if you know this pain. I’m sorry if you’ve lost someone who meant everything to you and was an emotional lifeline in your world.
There are no magic words to share and I can’t fix your grief or take the pain away. But I want you to remember why we grieve. We grieve because we allow ourselves to love and be loved. And that’s one of the most beautiful gifts human beings will give and receive.
No one can take away the love you shared with your person. No one can erase the deep footprint left on your heart.
The grief you now carry is forever intertwined with love and one of the best things you can do is to find ways to honor their legacy and keep their sacred memory alive.
I miss her. Every single day. Nothing will change that and the grief I’m carrying is a testament to who she was and how much she meant to me.
Hold on and know that while so much of the journey must be walked alone, you’re not completely alone. I’m here for you and while I can never replace your person or emotional lifelines, I will listen and try to comfort you in your pain.
Sending love. Always.
Michele