Love, Honor, and Cherish Your Loved Ones on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a day of celebration for many. It’s a wonderful day to gather with family, share a delicious brunch, and enjoy the beautiful flowers blooming in May. But Mother’s Day can also bring dark clouds filled with yearning, missing, grief, and pain. It’s a day chalk full of reminders of what was lost, what no longer is, or things that never happened at all.

Mother’s Day is a bittersweet day for me. I’m so grateful for the love of my children and grandchildren but I also grieve for the many miscarriages and the loss of the babies I would never meet and hold. And now that my dear sweet mom is gone, Mother’s Day comes with a different kind of sadness and hurt.

I woke up this morning in Sicily (a beautiful place to spend Mother’s Day) and my heart felt a bit heavy. I’m emotional today and the first thing I thought of was how much I miss my mom. I would have loved to enjoy a morning cup of coffee and a donut with her and then take her to an afternoon movie. Oh how I miss our special times together or just hearing her voice.

But I can’t. She’s no longer here by my side and the void I feel is deep and wide. Life feels a bit emptier without her and my life isn’t quite the same.

With that being said, I believe there are so many ways to stay connected to my mom. There are so many ways I can continue to love her and honor her today and beyond.

Here are a few ideas that have helped me and I hope they help you too.

Continue to enjoy their favorite things.

My mom loved going to the movies during the day. We would buy a soda, chocolate and a box of popcorn to share. I still do that even though it’s not the same. Perhaps your mom loved going out to eat at a fav restaurant, loved going for a scenic drive, shopping, or going to the zoo.

Perhaps she loved watching a good Netflix show, cooking a special meal, baking cookies, or gardening. Maybe she had a favorite sweater, hat, scarf, or blanket. Continue to do those things in honor of her. Wrap up in her blanket and turn on a good show. Fill up your kitchen with the smell of her favorite dish or fresh baked cookies. Plant beautiful flowers or take that drive and go to the zoo.

Whatever it is, do it with love and bask in the warm memories. Share these things with your family and friends. And, if you always bought her a bouquet of flowers or a purple orchid, buy yourself one today.

Say their name and share their story.

Never stop saying their name. Tell the stories and share them with others. Light a candle in their honor and look at the pictures from over the years. Listen to a saved voicemail and soak in the comfort of their voice. Read the cards they gave to you and hold on tight to their love for you.

Remember - you are grieving because of love and the love will always remain.

Write them a letter.

I love the personal sentiment of writing letters or sending a card and while I know she won’t be able to read them, I still love the idea of writing to my mom. There is healing through writing and you can still write to them. Share your thoughts and tell them how much you miss them and wish they were here. Tell them about your day, your new hopes, and your dreams. Tell them about your life, family, and all of the things that bring you joy. Tell them about your sadness, and about the things you wish they were here to experience, see, and do with you.

I know it’s not the same but it’s still a way to express your thoughts, emotions, pain, and joy with one of the most important people in your life. Create a special box to keep your letters in and perhaps you can read them once in a while or at the same time each year. Read them in silence or read them out loud.

Be kind.

My mom was a very generous and kind person. She was always willing to help others and she was always there for me. I have found that it’s helpful to pay it forward and to be kind to everyone I meet. To be the best of who she was and to help others when in need.

Being kind costs nothing. It can be as simple as saying good morning to a stranger with a smile. It can be holding the door for someone or helping them to carry their groceries to the car. Or you can pay for someone’s coffee in the Starbucks line, buy bouquets of flowers and drop them off at the nursing home. Perhaps you volunteer for the day and make a difference in someone’s life. Donate to a charity that meant something to them.

Whatever it is, do it with love and in honor of them.

Relax and take care of yourself.

My mom was always worrying about me. She would tell me to slow down and do something kind for myself today. I try to remember that and one way to honor her is to honor myself. If I don’t feel up to celebrating I give myself permission to set boundaries and retreat.

It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to rest and relax. It’s okay to cry or miss her a little bit more. Give yourself permission to feel sad today.

It’s okay to take a hot bubble bath, go for a walk in nature, go to a movie, read a good book, or take a long check out from the world kind of nap.

It’s okay to meet with friends and sip on a lovely glass of wine. Buy yourself some flowers or go out to an amazing dinner at night.

Remember to find your and. It’s okay to grieve AND find joy. It’s okay to cry AND laugh. It’s okay to feel happy AND sad. It doesn’t have to be an either/or kind of day.

Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong way to navigate today. Do whatever feels right for you and do it with love and compassion. Find things that bring you comfort and if possible, a little bit of joy. You deserve it and so much more.

I know today can be challenging for some many different reasons. If you are missing someone special today (it could be a mom, grandmother, step-mom, favorite aunt, friend, child or lost dreams of a child you will never have) please know I’m thinking about you and my heart stands with yours. So many of the ideas I shared above can be done in honor of anyone you are missing and I know today can be incredibly painful and hard. My heart aches for you more than you know and I care deeply about you and your loss.

Regardless of what makes today difficult, please be gentle with your heart and take care of YOU. Honor your loved one but also honor your needs.

Mother’s Day can be beautiful and full of sorrow at the same time. I know that I’m grieving because of love and I’m grieving for someone that mattered in my life and I will always honor her legacy and the life she lived with love, kindness, and grace.

And I will try to do the same.

Sending you lots of love today and always.

Michele