We Need To Change The Way We Think About Grief

We live in a society that is uncomfortable with grief and sadly, people fail to show up for their grieving family and friends when they need them the most. We need to change the way we think about grief.

The journey of grief is hard and it’s one of the most painful things human beings will face. There’s no sugarcoating the pain of grief and it’s a pain that’s hard to describe.

For those who have never experienced a devastating loss, it can be difficult to completely understand what another is going through. Until people come to know the pain of loss personally, it’s hard to know what to say and do to help support others who are carrying the weight of grief.

It’s frustrating and hurtful for the grieving community. Grievers often feel isolated and alone. They feel judged and misunderstood. The lack of support and validation adds to the weight of grief and those who are grieving often retreat into themselves to avoid feeling abandoned and hurt.

It’s a vicious cycle and one that is less than helpful. Don’t get me wrong. I understand how challenging it can be when it comes to helping a friend or family member who is grieving.

Grief is uncomfortable and it’s unpredictable as well. Everyone grieves differently and it’s difficult to know what to say and do.

But here’s the thing. We need to find ways to sit in the uncomfortable. We need to show up and try to help whether if feels hard or not. Your loved one needs you and it’s better to say and do something versus saying and doing nothing at all.

This is the perfect time to educate yourself and research ways you can help. There are so many great resources out there in today’s world and Megan Devine offers great tips for you. Tips and resources that can serve as a guide on how to show up and be there for someone you care about and love.

Honesty goes far in the sacred space of grief. Own your truth and if you don’t know what to say or do, be honest with your grieving friend. Keep it simple and just say, “I don’t know what to say or do but I’m sorry and I know it hurts. I love you and I’m here for you.” It doesn’t get more honest than that and it will make your loved one feel seen and loved.

Remember, there are no perfect words after loss and there’s no perfection in grief. There’s love, showing up and sometimes it’s as simple as sitting in silence with someone in their pain.

Don’t overthink it. Let your heart guide you and know that checking in and showing up can make a huge difference to someone who is struggling with a heartbreaking loss and trying to navigate their grief.

Grief isn’t the enemy and everyone will grieve. Eventually, we will all play both roles in the grieving space. Everyone will grieve and everyone will become a supporter to the grieving.

Grief is messy and complicated but keeping it simple when it comes to offering support is a good rule of thumb. Love. Listen. Check in. Show up. Send a card. Pick up the phone. Invite them to do things. Drop off food. Help with daily tasks. Stay away from unrealistic expectations and don’t judge. Meet them right where they are from one day to the next. And remember, grief doesn’t go away after the memorial service. The hard work of grief has just begun.

In the end, the most important thing is love. We grieve because we love and love will carry us through the toughest of times.

Keep showing up with kindness and love. It matters.

With compassion and love-

Michele