It Could’ve Been Me
Loss happens every single day and when a tragic loss makes the headlines, the collective grief felt is real. The tragic murder of Eliza Fletcher this past week shook people to the core and like so many senseless, brutal tragedies, people are forced to think, “it could’ve been me.”
Eliza was a 34 year old mother of two, a wife, daughter, granddaughter, friend and teacher. Like so many, Eliza went out for a run but Eliza didn’t get to finish her run or go home to her family.
Personally, I’m not a runner but the random act of violence that ripped this young woman away from her life and family shook me up and touched me deeply. Like so many other senseless tragedies, it forced me to imagine the unimaginable and I was once again reminded of my own mortality.
Eliza is you, me, our families and friends. Tragedy can strike at anytime and loss is the constant reminder that life doesn’t come with any guarantees.
People often come together in the wake of a senseless tragedy and collectively, we grieve. Many will say “I can’t imagine” but in reality, one of the reasons we feel horrified and grieve the loss of a stranger is because we CAN imagine. We can imagine getting that phone call or losing someone we love deeply. We can imagine the heartbreak and the fear of something terrible happening to someone we care about and love.
Sadly, the story and the headlines will linger in our minds for a few weeks and then the tragedy will start to fade as we all return back to our own lives. Because that’s how it works. The world keeps spinning even though someone’s precious life has come to an end.
But what about the loved ones left behind? What about the spouse, parent, grandparent, sibling, child or friend? What about their lives and their grief? Life as they know it just turned upside down and the pain of losing someone they love has cracked their hearts wide open. For them, life will never be the same.
I hear from countless grieving people every single week. People just like you and me. People who’re grieving the loss of someone they love and are fighting just to survive.
The tragic and brutal loss of Eliza only fuels my passion to change the way we talk and think about grief. Everyone will grieve and millions of people are grieving right now. Yet we live in a world that is uncomfortable with death and grief.
We need to show up for one another in times of loss and tragedy. No one should have to carry the heartbreak of loss and grief alone. We are ALL in this together and life can change in a moment’s time.
“It could’ve been me” is a sad but true reality and it’s always my hope that the pain felt on the wings of loss will lead to more, awareness, compassion and empathy.
I was reading about the thousands of runners who rallied around the US to finish Eliza’s run and it reminded me of all the good in a world that can be so brutal and cruel. What an amazing way to honor Eliza and to show solidarity in the wake of tragedy. Human beings need connection and we all need each other. Especially after a heartbreaking loss.
We need to be kind to one another. To keep showing up and standing with those who are hurting versus pushing them away. We need to listen without judgement and love unconditionally. Because, it could’ve been you or me.
My heart goes out to Eliza’s family and friends. And, my heart continues to break for all of you who’re grieving the loss of someone you love. It’s a long, hard journey and I know you’re trying to navigate a life that has completely changed while the world has moved on. I’m sorry for all you are carrying and going through.
Your grief matters. Always.
Sending love and I’m here.
Michele XoXo