The Grinch and Grief
One of my favorite holiday shows is How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It’s entertaining and I love the little dog with the oversized antlers on his head, but the show also comes with a meaningful message in the end. But as I reflect this holiday season, I couldn’t help but think about The Grinch and Grief.
For anyone who has watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas, you know the general plot. The Grinch is a cranky, solitary creature who tries to ruin Christmas by stealing gifts and decorations from the homes of Whoville on Christmas Eve.
In the end, the Grinch realizes that Christmas isn’t all about money and presents. The people of Whoville celebrate Christmas regardless of the Grinches attempt to ruin it and without all of the material things. Christmas is about spirit and heart.
I love this concept and there are important lessons in this classic holiday tale but what happens when it feels like grief steals Christmas away?
After a devastating loss, the holidays are often difficult. It’s hard to get into the holiday spirit and hearts break all over again when there is one less gift to buy or an empty chair at the holiday table.
The volume of grief increases during the holidays and sometimes the grieving struggle with all of the hustle and bustle of the season. People struggle to find joy and buying presents, wrapping, baking, decorating, and celebrating can feel overwhelming and exhausting when grief shows up at the door.
Some people don’t want to engage with others, look at the sparkling lights, or exchange gifts this time of year. Instead of it being the most wonderful time of the year, it can feel like the most difficult time of the year and when grieving, it’s easy to want to skip the holidays.
Just like the Grinch, it can feel like grief has stolen Christmas and it’s understandable when people struggle to rise to the occasion and jingle bell their way through the holidays. And honestly, some grievers have a hard time with laughter and joy during the holiday season. Anger, frustration, and resentment can bubble up and some people feel like the Grinch and hate this time of year.
I get it and there have been years when I’ve felt this way.
If you’re struggling with the holidays this year, it’s okay. It’s okay to have Grinchy moments and to wish the holidays away.
This is your journey and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate the holidays when carrying grief in your heart. Give yourself lots of grace and while it may feel like grief has stolen Christmas, it’s my hope you can find something to hold onto and hope for.
The holidays can lose a little bit of magic when grief is lurking in the shadows of your heart, mind, and home. But grief doesn’t have to completely ruin this holiday season and it’s possible to experience moments of joy - alongside your grief.
The Grinch learned he can co-exist with the good people of Whoville and embrace some of the holiday spirit. We as grievers can also learn that joy and grief can co-exist during the holiday season and grief doesn’t have to completely steal Christmas away.
Sending love always -
michele